* Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.

* Avoid rape - say yes.

* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.

* The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

* Thou shalt not commit adultery...unless in the mood.

* The best thing about masturbation is that you don't have to talk
afterward.

* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.

* Assassins do it from behind.

* Chess players mate better.

* Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

* Good girls spit, Bad girls swallow, Naughty girls gargle.

* Excuses are like asses everyone's got me and they all stink.

* Squirrel who runs up woman's leg do not find nuts.

* If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK.

* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the
price men have to pay for sex.

* When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am
not able to remember, what did I choose.

* Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".

* Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

* My wife is a sex object. Overtime I ask for sex, she objects.

* Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

* If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.

* Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.

* Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!.

* Sex is an emotion in motion.

* For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

* There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
don't and stop, unless they are used together.

* Anatomy is something everybody's got, but sure looks better on a woman.

* The difference between a husband and a lover is the difference
between day and night.

* If he won't wear a condom, staple his willy at the end. That'll
make him think. Sorta....

* I was so poor growing up . if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had
nothing to play with.

* Love without sex is like cooking without eating, but be careful
because sex without condom is like driving a car without breaks!.

* I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in
bed.

* The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.

* Prostitution is a hole sale business.

* Lets all be considerate towards animal and let all the cocks meet
the pussies of their choice.

* I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have
kids....

* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises
without restricting the view.

* It is good for woman to meet man in park, but better for man to
park meat in woman.

* Passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

* To all Virgins - Thanks for Nothing !.

* Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!.

* What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

* Virginity can be cured.

* Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to
get or how long it is going to last.

* Don't do it if you can't keep it up.

* We all know that wonderful new pill as Viagra, but the scientific
term for it is: Mycoxafloppin.

* Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and in
demand.

* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?.

* Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up
straight.

* Why is brassiere singular and panties plural ?.

* Men who scratch ass should not bite fingernails

* Virginity is like bubble, one prick all gone.

* Men who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.

* Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand.

* Instead of 'SCREW', why don't they say 'NAIL' ? A man doesn't turn
his point 'round and' round...he hammers it home.

* Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause
kids.

* I'm not attracted by a girl's mind ... But by what she doesn't mind.

* Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?.

* Love thy neighbor, but be sure her husband is away.

* Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home early kill people.


* Fighting for peace is like making love for virginity.

* Adding manpower to a late project is like getting nine women
pregnant in hopes of obtaining a baby in one month.

* Women vs. beer: You know you're the first one to pop a beer.

* He loves 'babies', especially those born sixteen to 25 years ago.

* No! Nothing like that! I'm just disabling your "virgin" feature.

* Getting' married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used
to it, it ain't so hot.

* Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy
ENJOY